Joy is all about friendship

I don’t always feel terribly homesick.  I miss my friends and family and I hate missing out on everything that is happening back home.  Sometimes you just have put those thoughts aside and keep plugging away.  I really thought I had everything handled, until we received our first visitors from the US. 

John and I headed into Hanoi to meet up with a group from the Washington Agriculture and Forestry Education Foundation that was traveling to Vietnam.  Among the travelers were two very good friends.  For two days I was walking on air.  You know joy?  That overwhelming feeling of happiness where you just know everything is going to be ok?

Of course there were a couple of glitches.  I made reservations at a different hotel than the one they were staying at (same name, same street, and slightly different address). The weather was soooo cold, the coldest, wettest and drizzliest it has been so far.  Instead of waiting for them in the lobby as they walked in the door from their very long trip; we were sitting just down the street, waiting in a very empty and quiet lobby.  All was OK – they arrived and I got to show them all my favorite spots of Hanoi.

Checking out Hanoi with Cheri & Robin

Early morning walk and
exercise

 Cooking class at Hanoi Cooking Centre

Trip to Duong Son Ancient Village

With the hat, or without the hat???? I like it, but will he actually wear it?

I think she needs to keep the hat for sure.

 Visit to Ba Vi and Homestead Village

  

Bi Vi Mountain in the background

Catching fish for lunch

Cooking the fish

Thuy An Orphanage

Taking one of the always popular selfie's.  He was really happy, it just doesn't look like it.

Since Robin and Cheri were traveling part of the time with the group, John and I slipped out early to get the house ready for a party to welcome the delegation to Hai Phong while they made their way to Ha Long Bay. Our trip home turned into a Vietnam nightmare.  Our taxi driver was told to go to the wrong bus station so we went several kilometers out of our way before we realized the error.  We told him “bus to Hai Phong” and he responded with “Okay, Okay” in such a determined manner we believed him.  15 minutes later when I finally realized we were still going the wrong way I showed him the map, and again “Bus to Hai Phong”.  Once again “Okay, Okay” 10 minutes later we arrived at the train station. 

I like taking the train. It is a comfortable but long (4 hour) ride to Hai Phong where the bus takes a mere 2.5 to 3 hours. And while doing my diligent pre-trip work I knew that the last train left at 6pm and it was now 6:30 and I was pretty darn sure that the train was not going to work.  Before we could say “BUS” the taxi driver was taking our bags out of the trunk and the train personnel were taking them away.  John and I looked at each other, and in the way that you know your spouse after 27 years of marriage, with a quick nod I ran after the luggage and John went to purchase the tickets.  As I am trying to scramble onto the train the one piece of luggage that the conductors didn’t take was the very important case of wine for the party.  I looked back to see my very agile husband jump over the case of wine and run across the tracks to the train.  I start to yell, “get the wine, get the wine, get the wine,” which of course he can’t hear.  So finally – back he goes to get the wine, we heave it on the train and off we go, because of course they were holding up the train just for us.

I mentioned before previous train rides were quite comfortable with nice soft seats, a movie playing and food service.  This was a different train. Hard benches, loud train noises and even louder voices.  Most of the time I love listening to the soft tonal language of Vietnamese.  The sound is as beautiful as the people, unless they are yelling.  Ôi Chúa ơi! – they were yelling to be heard over the loud noise of the train and it was not pretty, cackling is what comes to mind when I try to describe the noise.  John and I looked at each other – can we handle this for 4 hours???? Just then the beverage cart went rolling by and I sent John after it to buy beer.

Almost 2 hours into the trip I was feeling as though I couldn’t handle the noise for a moment longer and decided to pull out google maps to see how close we were to Hai Phong.  We had somehow caught the express train – which is only 2 hours between Hanoi and Hai Phong.  All of the sudden the loud noise wasn’t so bothersome.  As we pulled into the city John and I smiled at each other – almost home.  Just then I felt something tickling my ankle   . . .  I was sure it was a rat, but only a very large cockroach.

to be continued . . . .

Secret Garden in Hanoi

I am back in the US, alone and missing my better half, but keep remembering an encounter we had just before leaving Vietnam.  I had to make an emergency trip to Hanoi to prepare for my trip home.  Haiphong is a city of  "only" 2 million and doesn't have the amenities that the capitol city of Hanoi has, like airline ticket offices. For whatever reason, I couldn't pay for my ticket online, it had to be in person at the airline office. My favorite hashtag is #thingsaredifferenthere, but that is why we love Vietnam.

Hanoi is three hours from Haiphong by bus, and four hours by train.  We had done the train a couple of times so decided to take the bus.  This is where we first experienced the rolling stop. Upon exciting the bus in Hanoi, or trying to exit, we quickly realized that he wasn't going to actually stop.  He slowed way down to a crawl and we had to "jump" off the bus. We survived the rolling stop!

Anyway - we took advantage of the day to wander the Old Quarter and buy some gifts to bring home. One thing I was looking for was a baby gift for someone I know who is expecting (shh - still a secret). Since they are early on and don't know if it is a boy or girl yet I needed something generic.  You would think with all of those many, many shops in the old quarter I could find something adorable that wasn't for a girl or a boy.  It was really hard until we stumbled on these two darling ladies and their knitting shop set up in an alley.

The husband of one of the ladies saw John taking pictures and kept motioning for us to go down the alley, which we finally did and found this beautiful courtyard.  This is one of the many hidden treasures, right next to the hustle and bustle of the Old Quarter but very quiet and tranquil once you went inside.

See below to see what it looked like just outside.

I found a cute little knitted hat, but the experience will live on for us as one of the many reasons we find Vietnam so interesting.

We ended our day at our favorite rooftop restaurant Cau Go 

Oh - and I bought knitting needles and yarn for my next adventure, learning to knit.

Thanksgiving Reflection on the SAMMI's, Kids Without Borders, and How We Ended Up in Vietnam in the First Place

Thanksgiving makes me thankful for all we have and all those we know.  This year I am especially thankful that I get to be home with most of our family, even though we are missing those that aren't here.  Reflecting on that reminds me of how and why we ended up in Vietnam in the first place.  

Son Michael surrounded by Teach Me to Fish kids in 2008

Big sister giving her brother a ride from our trip in 2008.

Most of the people I know also know Son Michael Pham.  Son Michael is the reason John and I are in Vietnam.  To understand how we got from a Sammamish family to nomads living in Haiphong I need to go back in time, all the way to 2003 and the SAMMI Awards.

The SAMMI’s, as we like to call them, came about after the nightmare of September 11, 2001. A group of people from Sammamish got together to try to understand what in the world had happened, and what could they do to try to heal our community.  I wasn't in the room, but what I understand is that this group of visionaries decided the best way to tackle the horror of what happened was to tell the stories of people who do good things, actually people doing great things in our community.  They got busy and in three months had a list of nominees; a first class performance by the SammamishSymphony and local businesses who were willing to help foot the bill. 

By the 2^nd year the SAMMI’s were getting more notice and more nominees.  I was lucky enough to be a part of the team that helped put together the second celebration.  One of those receiving an award happened to be Mr. Pham.  We found out that he would not be in the country for the ceremony so Son Michael’s wife Judy gallantly accepted the award on his behalf.  Because of that association I got to know this good man and have been lucky enough to tag along and watch him do what he does best, giving service above self.

To try to make a very long story somewhat shorter, Son and his family were living in South Vietnam during the Vietnam American war.  His father was a high ranking military officer which put the elder Mr. Pham and his family in grave danger after the U.S pulled out of Vietnam.  They had a harrowing escape and spent years rebuilding their lives in the US, a place that at that time really didn't want them.  But they did rebuild their lives.  From the battle field to the railroad yard, the elder Mr. Pham and his wife, and Son Michael as the oldest of five children, supported their family while they struggled to adapt to their new home, learn the language and survive. 

Son Michael eventually made his way back to Vietnam 20 years after their escape.  He saw the need for support in Vietnam, especially for those who couldn’t help themselves.  This included orphans, veterans and others injured in the war or by the artillery left behind, and the many veterans and children who are suffering from the effects of Agent Orange.  Through his work there he started KidsWithout Borders, a non-profit that is twofold.  One – it inspires youth into service, by example and by support, allowing these young people to create their own projects and to volunteer while mentoring them through the process.  The second part is the support that these efforts offer to others.  The beneficiaries in the U.S include the Ronald McDonald House and the Tukwila Clothing Bank, although there are many, many more those are the two in the U.S that KWB is currently most active with.  Youth from all over the world contact  Chu Son (he is known to them as Uncle Son) and ask for his support as they hold fabulous fund raisers and events or volunteer for months at a time at a KWB supported organization which is often an orphanage in Vietnam, usually one with children with developmental disabilities.

In 2007 with students from the KWB Teach Me To Fish Program

In 2006 the summer before our daughter Maggie entered her senior year at Eastlake High School, she came to me saying that she wanted to do something that would make a difference. Not only for herself, but for someone else. She wanted to work with younger kids somehow.  At Eastlake they do (or did) a senior project.  We decided to meet with Son Michael to pick his brain on what she could do.  That is how five months later Maggie, myself and Christina our 22 year old daughter were on a midnight plane to Hanoi, Vietnam with Son Michael, a handful of Vietnam veterans and several others who were joining together for this HumaniTour. 

To say this trip changed our lives is putting it mildly.  For myself and the girls it was our first international travel – unless you call driving over the border to Canada international travel. Having the Vietnam Veterans on this trip was a bonus.  Together we lugged suitcases of clothes, books and school supplies to orphanages in town and way out of town.  Usually traveling by bus on roads that buses don’t travel.  We held disfigured children that don’t get held very often.  We played games and took older kids for a once in lifetime trip to a fancy hotel for a swim and dinner out.  We had a meal prepared by disadvantaged kids who were lucky enough to get a scholarship to learn the restaurant trade.  We had a crash course in the Vietnamese culture.  We came to understand why these people are so proud and work so hard.  I fell in love with the beauty of Vietnam and its people and 12 months later John and I were back on another HumaniTour with Son Michael.  Some of the things we did were the same, some were very different, but it was just as impressive.  I just got back from my third trip with Son Michael (November 2014). If possible this trip held even more meaning for me.  It was challenging, exciting, and very moving. Maybe it is because it was such a small group this time, or maybe it was because I spent more one on one time with some of the most severely disabled children.

 Maggie handing out treats

Christina holding one of the younger children at Go Vap Orphanage in HCMC

 Traveling by bus to one of the rural areas of Vietnam so help open a school 

When I started writing today, I was going to write about that last trip.  But I think this is long enough.  I am on my way home for a long visit and then when I return I will join Son Michael once again as he tours Vietnam bringing with him this time a group of businesspeople from Seattle.

When thinking of Son Michael and the SAMMI’s I am so grateful for all the mentors I have had in my life.  Besides Son Michael, every single one of those people who sat down and came up with the SAMMI Awards have had a huge influence on me.  When you surround yourself with such great people you just have to have a great life, right?  Son Michael was a major influence in John’s receiving his position in Vietnam, which is slowly changing who we are. Unfortunately, I had to leave John in Haiphong all alone (except for those 2 million other Haiphong people) while I travel back to be surrounded by friends and family.  Being alone together has been really good for us.  Thankfully he will follow in 3 weeks for a longish visit.  And of course being thankful is what this week is all about.

2014 HumaniTour at the Renaissance School in HCMC

 With John in 2007 on Ha Long Bay

and early this month in Hanoi

Ah, Sapa

August 20, 2014

If you have been following our Facebook posts you might have realized that we fell in love with Sapa. When researching our trip I kept seeing the words, indescribable, exhilarating, beautiful, extraordinary – and even with those words they still don’t completely describe the beauty of this place and the people who live here.

Sapa is northwest of Hanoi – reachable by car or by a 10 hour overnight train.  There are about 8 different trains that make this trip daily, all year long.  They vary only a little bit in price and in the times they leave and arrive in Sapa.  The main difference in price is how you are going to ride the train. We opted for a private car/compartment which is the most expensive, but well worth it.  

The ride was long and bumpy from Hanoi to Sapa.   I think we slept a little bit.  Our train was about 2 hours late arriving in Sapa. We were greeted by our guide but by the time we got to the bus for our hotel it was full.  We were put on another bus and then observed a pushing match between our new guide (a tiger lady) and another driver as they argued over who was going to get the passengers.  The tiger lady picked up a couple people in town to fill in the empty seats.The price for the 35 K ride was $2.50.

Our bus trip up to the mountain was eventful.  Driving in Vietnam is always a hair raising experience, but this was the scariest I have seen so far.  Our bus driver was passing everyone, even on the corners. Once we narrowly missed another bus, once a truck and one time a motorbike ran into our bus.  No one was hurt but the driver yelled out the window at the bike. Our room wasn't ready when we arrived – it was only 8:30am, so we had breakfast and decided to take a trek to a local village.

Our hotel, H’Mong Sapa Hotel hires local staff and works with Sapa O’Chau tours, who also hires local guides and helps to educate their guides as well as support the local schools. Most of the youth from the villages only stay in school through 9^th grade.  The high schools cost to attend and most of the children are needed to help work to support their families, or in the case of the young girls their own children as most get married at 15.

Our first trek was to Cat Cat Village to see the waterfall and then onto another village Xi Chai. It was about 6 miles, usually either going straight down or up. Our guide, Chinh (19) was wonderful, he is from Cat Cat village and we met many of his family along the way. He shared so much about their culture and his family and lifestyle. In their culture when you are ready to take a wife you do so by kidnapping her. His brother (who at 23 has been married 3 times) kidnapped his first wife by breaking into her home with 5 men.  She stayed with him 3 days until they went to her parents to pay the bride fee.  She refused to go back.  His second wife stayed wife him for a year before leaving him to marry someone else.  The third wife he took off of the street.  It is much cheaper this way.  The bride fee is only $50 US if you take her from the street instead of her home.  I was really taken aback at first when Chinh explained this, but it isn’t quite as brutal as it sounds.  I understood that the women’s family usually know in advance of the kidnapping, and the women are free to go back to their families if they don’t want to stay.  Chinh can’t ask for a wife for another year as his brother just got married, they can only have one marriage per family, per year. His 3 younger sisters have all been kidnapped and married.  The youngest is 15, the oldest is 17 and she has 2 children. 

Our trek on day two was very long, but we are so glad we went.  Walking through the many rice paddies, small villages and countryside was breathtaking.  Once again our guide, Louis, was so incredible. I am not sure if the people are as genuinely as nice as they seem, or if Sapa O’Chau tours offers suggestions to their guides on customer service. It doesn't matter – we felt like we were best friends with both guides after spending several hours with them, talking about our families, sharing bits about our cultures and teaching them English while learning (trying) a few H'mong word and phrases from them. At the end of the day we would help our guides with their homework, which was learning a few new words in English, such as anxiety. Try to explain that word to a none English speaker.

This trek took almost all day and was about 12 miles by the time we were through. We went through several small villages before ending up at the Red Dao (pronounced Zao) village where we spent a few minutes in a mineral bath. We were unfortunate to end up at the bath at the same time a group of Vietnamese men were there who had already been partaking in much rice wine and beer.  They were very loud which took away some of the joy of our visit and bath.  John and I had a “private” room with two barrels.  You sit in the barrel of very hot water that has been steeped in many different herbs.  It smelled a little like eucalyptus.  We were already so hot that the hot water wasn’t that refreshing.  We sat in the barrels for as long as we could – only about 10 minutes of the allotted 25. 

My words won’t be able to describe the scenery – so the link to the pictures is here.

It is such a different world in Sapa. The life of the people  in the villages is simple. Although it has been very changed by the tourist industry which is about 20 years old, their lifestyle in the villages has stayed the same. They do have electricity but only for lights and the occasional T.V.. Their homes are one or two rooms and if they have a second floor it is to dry and store the corn and rice.  They cook over fires, usually inside.  They work hard at farming and the women at their sewing and embroidering. The women play up their lack of education a bit as they ask you to buy their crafts from them, and those with babies usually ask for you to help support their children by buying their products.  They will follow you as you walk through town and on the treks. I liked when they followed us on a trek because that is when we really got to talk to them. We always bought from them trying to spend at least $100,000 VND (about $5) each. Very little for the amount of work they put into their products as well as the amount of time they put into the sale. They were tireless as they walked along for many kilometers, caring their heavy baskets, trying to teach us a few words in Hmong, asking us our name, where we were from, etc.  They all speak at least that much English.  I can now say, thank you, hello, and goodbye in Vietnamese and H'mong. The ladies in the town don’t really want to visit, they only want us to buy from them, which we did – too much.  I really enjoyed watching my husband bargaining with the ladies.  

It is so beautiful here - have I mentioned that before?  It got very warm during the day although at night it was cool as we sat on the balcony with a bottle of wine and John enjoying his cigar watching the stars come out. There is so much light in Haiphong we seldom see the stars – and they are so close here. It is about 5500 feet in elevation and very foggy, wet and green. It is like Shangri-La.

A few other tidbits –

The H'mong language was never written down so they write their words as they sound in English.

Rice, black cardamom (the spice) and indigo plant (to dye the fabrics) are their biggest crops.  They all have water buffalo as well as pigs, ducks and chickens to support their families.  Every spare corner grows a vegetable or plant to feed their families or their animals.    

Getting acclimated –

Llife is always an adventure and my trip to Viet Nam was no disappointment.  The night before I left, Seattle was hit by thunderstorms.  It sounded great and made for some awesome sleeping weather, but unfortunately the storms didn’t clear up in time for my flight and my first flight was delayed long enough to make me miss my connection to Tokyo.  Alaska Airlines came to the rescue and put me on a flight to LA, then Hong Kong and finally arriving in Hanoi 12 hours after my original flight was due to arrive.

It was great to be back in Viet Nam.  I wish I had taken video of our taxi ride from the airport to the hotel. It is indescribable, you have to experience it yourself.  The good thing is everyone looks out for everyone else – it doesn’t always seem like it as they are passing on the shoulder, driving with two cars in one lane and narrowly missing trucks and motorcycles as they squeeze through to get to their destination.  I don’t see road rage or accidents. I am sure they happen, but it doesn’t seem like it happens very often. The video below is from a much tamer ride from the Hanoi to Hai Phong.

Hanoi has grown since my last visit in 2007. It is much busier and more sophisticated than before.  The people are still very friendly and school children love to practice their English on us calling out “Hello” as we walk by.

We went out to a place for lunch that I remembered going to with Christina and Maggie many years ago. But it was hot and by the time we checked into our awesome suite at the Melia Hotel, I was a sweaty, stinking mess. My husband on the other hand seemed quite cool and collected. After a short nap we walked to Hoan Kiem Lake and had dinner on a roof top restaurant.  Made it back to the hotel and slept great from about 11pm to 7am. 

The following day about an hour before our driver was to pick us for the drive to Hai Phong, the wind came up and the rain came down hard.  The rain stopped just as we were having the bags loaded into the van. It was pretty clear most of the way until we got to our home and another downpour showered us as we unloaded my many bags and boxes.  A group of boys were playing soccer out on the street when we arrived and I saw one of them lay down in the street which was quickly filling with water as the rain came down hard. He laughed, jumped up, shook himself off and went on with the game.

Our home is a four story “villa” located near one of the many rivers in Hai Phong and down a couple of buildings from a Karaoke bar. There are empty lots (very narrow) on each side of us but a house behind us.  Even though our home is 4 stories, the other houses on our street rise way above ours.  I hope I get to meet some of our neighbors and see the insides of their homes at some point. Can’t imagine what they do with all the room. I think I will have to study my Vietnamese a little bit first.   

It is hot, hot, hot here.  John said it took him about 3 weeks to feel acclimated.  I am trying my best to get outside as often as possible and walk.  Today’s walk was a little too much during the heat of the day. We headed home after lunch for a siesta and will try again this evening.