Finding Happiness

I am curious if anyone has read “The Happiness Project“ by  Gretchen Rubin? If so I would love to hear your comments. 

http://www.gretchenrubin.com/books/the-happiness-project/about-the-book/

I somehow found this book at the King County Library website and I have just checked it out for the second time. It is one of those reads I want to take slowly and savor every chapter.  I am only on March and the book chronicles an entire year of one woman’s journey to become truly happy.

I know I have been offered wonderful opportunity and I don’t want this time to go to waste.  I don’t want to live my life with regrets. Such as, why didn’t I take opportunities, or spend more time with kids, or laugh with my parents, travel with my sisters.   Why don’t I enjoy every day instead of trying so hard to fit everything into my schedule.  For years I haven’t been able to find the time to do things I need and want to do. 

Now I have time.  I can read a book (and I am reading several – and not just fiction this time).  I can look up all those movies we have missed over the years and download them.  I can finally watch Call the Midwife and I can take long walks.  I have time to think and to plan. 

Before I left the states I spent several weeks with a life coach and now I get weekly emails which somehow always seem to answer the question I am asking myself that week.  The last newsletter she wrote about taking September as a time to relax or ‘Dolce far niente’ which is Italian for ‘sweet doing nothing.’ The deliciousness of doing nothing and saying yes to life! It sounds so simple, right?  With a life of living running on high speed it is so hard to slow down.  I am hard wired (as are my sisters, although they much more then I am, especially now) to work hard, all the time.  We don’t know how to just sit. If we have spare time we go for hike, or plant a garden, or cook.

Having so much time on my hands is interesting. I find I have been here almost two months now and haven’t even tried to find a job, although it is always on my mind. I want to find something that I can continue to use when we return because we are a part of the growing number of boomers that will always need an income to help supplement their retirement.  Which is ok because I am happiest when I am working, especially if it is something I am passionate about, I just don’t want to work too hard anymore.

Of course all that time on my hands makes me dread the big D.  When I find myself lacking, and by lacking I mean not trying hard to help others; I tend to start sliding into depression and wondering if I have value, or something worthwhile to offer.   

To keep myself busy I am going to take the month of September to plan my year of finding happiness.  What one change can I make each month that will help me become a happier person? I only need to come up with 12 things to work on, it won’t be too hard I hope. 

You can find Etka’s blog at this link: http://www.i-dci.com/blog/.  If you think #18 on Dolce far niente is good be sure to check out #17.

What is happening in Hai Phong this month?  Typhoon Kalmaegi landed and besides keeping us locked in the house for a couple of days we were OK.  There were some trees down and power outages but Hai Phong was OK.  Other area's, not so much.  We are settling in, gaining back the weight we lost while I was struggling with cooking. I am getting more comfortable with the lack of everything we take for granted in the US. We have found some OK wine and a place where we feel comfortable buying meat.  We are settling in and becoming more comfortable in our surroundings. I am volunteering to help teach two English classes, one a group of women expats and another is a business college. It sounds like I might get to plan a couple of fund raisers, one for a blind school and one for a music class at an orphanage.  But really, most of time I am learning how to have peace with dolce far niente.

Below are pictures from the storm and one of me shopping in the local IKEA.  I was so excited to see it listed by google as a home goods shop.  What you see is the entire store.

A Visit to Cổ Am Village

This story has been the hardest one to write so far.  I can’t put into words how enjoyable this visit was.  The entire day was a very moving experience. The people here in Vietnam treat us so nicely.  I hope that a take away from our time here will be to somehow return the hospitality we have been given. 

We joined our relator Mr. Xi (pronounced C) on a trip to his home in the countryside.  It was about an hour and a half to get to Cổ Am Village from Hai Phong. We went to this village to celebrate the new moon. In August they celebrate the Harvest Moon which is also a children’s celebration.  Mr. Xi’s company donated money to his countryside village to buy books and gifts for the children.  Mr. Xi was obviously well known and loved in his country village.  His parents have a family home there, his Auntie lived next door. He must have had many Aunts and Uncles because almost everyone we met was introduced to us as Aunt and/or Uncle. His aunt was pretty funny - she keep pointing to her arms and legs and my arms and legs to show how tiny she was compared to me. Ha Ha.  

Upon arriving in Cổ Am village we met up with some friends of Mr. Xi, a policeman and an army officer and their families.  They were all dressed up to visit the pagoda and give thanks. I immediately regretted my decision to dress for comfort.  We were ushered into the pagoda area which included several museums, and places of worship.  Please forgive my lack of knowledge here – I am trying to learn.  It was obviously a place of great respect for the people we were with.  Much money had been put into the park in this remote village which included several building and statues. We were introduced to the Area Director who oversaw the park which was about 31000 meters. The Director offered our group a tour of the entire park including all the buildings. After the tour we meet up with the Director as well as the head of security and another gentleman (not sure what he did but he sang very well). 

It was such a nice day, topped off with a wonderful lunch and several toasts.  John tried to keep up with the rice wine toasts.  I was trying to just sip the wine and not swig it.  Eventually they noticed that I wasn't fully participating and started offering toasts directly to me. Somehow even with the language challenge I realized they were insisting that I finish the entire glass (about 1 oz) for each toast.  At first I wished I had faded away to the women’s table but after finishing off the first glass I started to really enjoy the wine. The gentleman that could sing, sang a couple of Vietnamese anthems which were beautiful even though I didn't understand the words.  We enjoyed them so much that they suggested we sing.  Oh dear – my family knows that being able to sing on key is one of my biggest challenges.  John and I quickly went through our song list.  Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog – probable wasn't a good choice. We didn't know all the words to the God Bless America, and couldn’t hit all the notes for the Star Spangled Banner – so we settled on Hey Jude.  They were very nice with their polite applause.

During the toasts they thanked us for being the first foreigners to visit the pagoda.  It is hard to imagine this could be true – perhaps the first since this director was in place. But it felt good to be able to represent the US, and particularly the northwest. The people were lovely and we really enjoyed learning about Ngueyn Binh Khiem who was the founder of the park and pagoda.  He is the Vietnamese equivalent of Nostradamus and you can read more about him at this link. I found it  fascinating to learn about him and how he stood up to the government, and because of it became well respected throughout the country. I also really enjoyed that the singer just wanted to hold my hand and stayed close to me during all the photos.  Unfortunately the ones on my phone camera didn’t turn out so you just have to believe what I say.

Here is a link to the photo's Be sure to hit full screen when watching them.

We enjoyed our day and getting to know Mr. Xi’s friends and family. Mr. Xi is a young man – in his mid to late 30’s and he runs a very successful real estate business. He exemplifies what it means to give back.  He shares his success with his village and family. He is modest and so friendly.  It was wonderful watching him take the time to stop and visit with everyone who wanted say hello. He made sure to buy from the ladies selling bread and incense, and talk to everyone who wanted a minute of his time.  He is refurbishing a villa in the village and will retire their eventually. I can see him getting into local politics which would probably be a great thing for the little village. 

My name is Bình Minh –

8/7/14

Auntie Binh Minh to be exact.  Auntie because well, I am not young and Aunt is a sign of respect, or so I was told.  John is - Uncle John. 

Trying to eat in HaiPhong has been our biggest struggle.  Because we haven’t yet learned the language we aren’t sure what to order at restaurants.  We tried two restaurants that were listed on travel websites.  The first one Com Vietnam. It popped up on the map of Hai Phong as a very good place to eat with traditional Vietnamese food.  It was close to our destinations for the day – the Hai Phong Post Office and Queen of the Rosary Cathedral.  We picked the hottest day we could for this adventure and were quickly thankful for the taxi we found not too far from our home.

We were dropped off near the post office but our taxi driver wasn't sure of our destination and pointed us in the wrong direction.  We walked north about 8 blocks asking several people for directions.  We were finally turned around and ended up back where we started from. The post office was one building south of where we were dropped off.  By this time we were dripping with sweat and the unairconditioned post office was only slightly better than the heat outdoors due to the many circulating fans in the lobby.  Although a wonderful old building it doesn't compare to the post office in Saigon. Probably not a great stop when visiting Hai Phong unless you are really into post offices. We were able to send off a letter to John’s mom without too much trouble and headed back out into the heat to find the cathedral.  The cathedral was about 4 blocks away and was filled with several hundred school children at mass for the day.  We were able to peek inside without distributing them too much – although many had spotted us and were pointing and waving despite their teachers disapproving looks.  There was another building next to the cathedral which we were told was housing for the nurses that stayed there.  It was also very beautiful and old – but not open to tourists.

From there we walked to Com Vietnam which was back by the post office.  We were asked to pick from the display case (no menu – thank heavens) and went inside our private room (with many fans, thank heavens once again) to wait.  We ordered shrimp, pork, morning glory and rice.  They don’t peel the small shrimp, but take little bites as they eat the soft shell and all – including the little feet.  I tried to eat it whole but couldn't quite get it down.  John peeled his but it was difficult and even he gave up after a few tries.  The pork was pretty good and the morning glory was wonderful as usual.  Our meal here was under 100,000 VND (about $5).

Our day ended with the return taxi driver taking the long, long, long, way home.  What cost us 30,000 dong to get to ended up costing 100,000 to return home and no A/C in the cab. The shower felt soooo good. 

Last night we went tried to find another restaurant that was rated highly on TripAdvisor.  Quan Ngon sounded like the perfect place to eat.  The menu had English entries, great food, friendly service and they even offered wine – which isn’t common. Where they placed it on the map was not where the address was, but just to be sure we went to the map location first.  Nothing.  So we jumped in a taxi and went to the address.  Much to our dismay the restaurant was gone.  It appeared to have burned down. It must have been recently as the last review was in January.

We ended up at ZoZo’s.  A place we had walked by many times but hadn't stopped in at yet.  This was an outdoor restaurant on the street.  It was bigger than most of the street restaurants and always had a crowd. The wait staff spoke very little English and we had a good time trying to figure out what they were saying and the other way around as they tried to understand us.  We ended up with our first Vietnamese grill, or các món nướng.  We have seen this many times and it always smelled so good when walking around town. They brought the grill right to the table, along with marinated beef, sliced vegies, pickled vegies, sliced (the long way) cucumbers, another meet wrapped around vegies and tied as well as my favorite, morning glory, and of course we had beer over ice.  They patiently taught us how to grill our meats and vegies and which sauces to dip it in.  This was our best dinner in Hai Phong so far.  This meal was 255,000 VND or $12 US.  John ended up giving them at 100,000 VND tip for all their help – they tried to give it back saying it was too much – but we insisted since they had to work so hard to help us. 

Starting our new life adventure

The closer we get to retirement the more we wanted to do something that would/could make a difference. And then - the opportunity came our way.  In the next 5 days John will be leaving to Hai Phong, Viet Nam working for an NGO - Peace Winds America, Dawn will follow in a couple of months. This blog is to capture the highlights, and maybe medium-lights of our journey. Hopefully it will help us remember what we did during our time as Expats.  We are leaving behind our family, parents, children, grandchildren and Bubba (our aging Bulldog) as we move 6,812 miles across the Pacific and much closer to the equator.

Here we are taking some R&R at Cedarbrook Lodge in SeaTac.  Who would of thought that there was a hidden gem in the middle of town.  A great place for some quiet time.  Pluses - nice rooms, wonderful bathrobes, sustainable resort and a great  restaurant (pricey - but worth it). We brought our own bottle of wine and love that they don't charge a corkage fee for Washington wines.  We were gifted a bottle from Napa that we had saved for a special occasion so we couldn't take advantage of that perk. Minuses - no Sunday morning paper.